BEHOLD, HE IS COMING WITH THE CLOUDS, and every eye will see Him, even those who pierced Him; and all the tribes of the earth will mourn over Him. So it is to be. Amen.
I have been through an incredible week. I have had great success and some great personal failures. I started journaling a bit about it and thought I would share a little of that with you today.. so ... here it goes...
One thing I see every time I come to Duke cancer center is people. All types of people. Every person is a story. Some at the end of their lives, some just getting devastating news for the first time, some walking in a long battle. There are those who serve these people each day, some take time to meet and know people, others just do their job without much interaction, courteous most of the time, but not too personal. I could imagine it would be difficult to emotionally tie yourself with so many who could die so soon.
I see children, seemingly so unfair for someone so small, so innocent afflicted. I see elderly, what kind of life have they lived? How long have they been in the fight? I see people my own age, wondering what is next, contemplating decisions that affect the future.
I see legacies, strength, hope, faith, fear, pain, uncertainty.
I see a disease that doesn't care. Doesn't care who you are, how old you are or how much you may have.
I see a promise. A promise from the creator of the universe. Some doubt him, some hate him, some trust him and some must stick their fingers in the nail holes to believe. Sometimes we, I, do it all.
I see so much lately. Some things I was passionate about, I now feel are pointless, some things I thought pointless are now a passion.
I see that while I'm here, I'm alive. I choose to live. I want to see more.
After Duke this week, I saw more… I saw brokenness. I saw passion in brokenness. I see people angry, hurt, frustrated, heroes, helpers and rescuers. I see people persecuted for the cause of Christ and some self inflicted in misery.
Through it all, I feel God has shown me to see. Sometimes, what I see in myself is hard to watch, not the disease of cancer, but the disease of self. God.. may I be more like you. I pray when people see me they see you.. so when others are observing people around them, they see more than a bearded guy, a husband, a parent, a musician, a designer.. May they see YOU.